Ok, I have been worried about my son for a week now. The last I saw or heard of him was Tuesday a week ago. His girlfriend called me and she was also worried as she hadn't heard from him since Thursday. Ok a week has gone by and no one has heard from him. This isn't the first time he has fallen off the face of the earth without a word to anyone.

He left his job, was supposed to start a new one, never showed up. Addict behavior for sure. I have tried not to let this bother me, but with so much that has happened in my life over the last year and a half, I stand on pins and needles wondering if he will be the next one they call me about. God help me if that happens.

Well, today, I finally broke down and called the sherrif's department to file a missing person report. The deputy came out here about 6:30 pm to get all the information. He made some phone calls and at least told me my son was not in jail (where I would have left him for sure), nor was he an unidentified body. Thank you God.

That was some relief, but then I got angry. He does this to me and puts me into a frenzy of worry and doesn't think a thing about it. No phone call, no how are you Mom, no screw you Mom, no NOTHING for 9 days.

Low and behold 1 1/2 hours after the deputy left my house, my son calls me.

Him: Hi Mom, watch doin?
Me: Where in the hell have you been for 9 days and no contact to me??????
Him: Uh, at my house.....
Me: NO YOU HAVE NOT, we have looked there for you. You are listed as a missing person now.
Him: I am? Well, I have been here.

I am so angry, I can hardly speak. Why do I let myself get so upset about him missing when he has done this before. He doesn't call me when he is using drugs. I know this. But with all the bodies they find lying in swamps, canals, woods, etc., how I am I supposed to know that even though he is using drugs, he is alive?

Now he asks: What are you doing tomorrow (like I am supposed to just be available to him?)
Me: I don't know, why?
Him: I want to go to Cenikor if they will let me in. I need help. I need you to take me there.
Me thinking: and where were you when i needed YOU!
Me saying: I will take you there in the morning, but this is the last time I will take you because the last time I took you there, you walked out after one week. You wasted my time and effort.
Him saying: I won't leave this time.
Me thinking: Yeah, well, we will see won't we.
Me saying: I will take you, but this is it. After this I will not help you anymore for anything, got it?
Him: Yes, Maam.
Me: See you tommorrow. Bye!
Him: I love you.
Me thinking: Yeah? Why don't you show it?
Me saying: I love you too.

I will try this one last time. That's it. I am writing this so I will remember it the next time.