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Saturday, September 08, 2007
Forgiveness....
There have only been two people in my life that I could not forgive. One is an ex boss and the other is my natural father. Forgiveness is something I feel is important in my life and the lives of those I love. Life is too short to go through it holding grudges and anger. I have always said "What goes around comes around".

I don't even know where I am going with this, but I am feeling a smoldering anger right now at someone I love dearly. I am tired of being hurt by that person. I am referring to my 'loving' sister. For those of you that keep up with my blog, you know that I had an argument with her recently (about 2 months ago) and have tried every way I know to apologize for my part in it. There ARE two parts you know. I does take two.

I emailed her (because she won't answer my calls) the other day to tell her about my upcoming surgery and to tell her that we are still going to Destin at the end of this month and I would love it if she and her husband would come down to the condo and spend some relaxing time on the beach with me and Tom. Four days later I get this back from her:

"Hi
I hope and pray your surgery is a success and you come thru surgery with flying colors.
We won't be coming to destin in October (we aren't going in October either, we are going in September as I stated in my original email) so don't look for us please plan other things for your selfs hope you have a good time."

My response to her was this:
"I am sure we will have a great time as we always do. We have lots of things planned to do. Just thought you and Mike might want to join us for a day or so. Sorry you won't be there."

I decided that since she had responded to my email that maybe I could call her. So I did. She actually answered the phone. I asked her if she was still mad at me and she stated that she wasn't "over it" yet. I told her again, that I was sorry for anything I might have done, but that I would like to ask her what the problem is from her side. She said, "well, for one thing, you slammed my bedroom door". Slammed her bedroom door? Are you kidding me? She is holding this grudge because of a slammed door that I don't even remember slamming? This sounds like something that should be on Dr. Phil, or maybe even better, Jerry Springer.

And so it went from there. She ended up hanging up on me and that is one thing that REALLY PISSES ME OFF! DON'T HANG UP IN MY FACE, EVER! That is so childish! We are adults and we should be able to act like adults. Well, I have decided that I am over with that part of my life. I don't talk to my natural father, who is also her father, and I don't need to talk to her either. (we had different mothers) I haven't seen or spoken to my father in about 8 years (wiht the exception of attending my grandmother's funeral where neither he nor I spoke to each other) and I can do the same with my sister. I do have another half-sister, by the way.

Thank GOD, I was raised by my mother and my stepfather (my daddy). I feel so fortunate that the SOB who fathered me didn't raise me or I would probably be just like my sister. An angry unforgiving person that loves being miserable, one who apparently feels superior to others.

As I said earlier, I don't know where I am going with this, but I guess I just needed to vent. I want to write her another email and tell her how stupid and childish she is being. In fact I did write that email, but saved it as a draft. I will think about it for a day or two before I send it, IF I send it.

That's it. Venting over.
 
posted by Cindy N. at 11:24 PM | Permalink |


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